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Shemane Nugent

weekly updates
family, Fitness, Happiness, Weekly Update

Blog & Weekly Update July 17, 2017

Learning / EducationalI’m officially 55 years old! When I was thinking about what I wanted to have and to do on my birthday to make it special, I wondered why we only wait until our birthdays to do those special things we always wanted to do – to eat cake, go shopping, celebrate with friends, or go on a trip? Why don’t we live every day that way – or most days? Obviously we have things to do in our lives that cannot be avoided, like paying bills and cleaning toilets, but what if we slice out a portion of a few occasional days doing things we enjoy, surrounded by people who uplift us instead of those who bring us down?

I wanted to share a few of my bucket list items for each day, not just my birthday.

Here’s my bucket list of birthday wishes: Watch the video here:

  1. Have more fun, less heart ache.
  2. Be the crazy lady dancing on the beach. We’ve all seen that woman who’s older – my age – with headphones in her ears, most likely playing the music loud, dancing, wearing a bikini – whether or not she should – and why not? She exudes love, laughter and light. We could all use a littler more of those things, can’t we?
  3. Once in a while have a chocolate croissant and coffee for breakfast
  4. Get those good endorphins going every day – work out more and laugh more
  5. Make my health a priority every day! As a former migraine sufferer, and having had a life-threatening illness, I know the importance of having good health.
  6. Take a cooking class
  7. Read more books
  8. Watch less TV
  9. Worry less about what others think about me, haters are gonna hate – give em something to hate about! Be yourself!
  10. Do more yoga (maybe even take yoga teacher training)
  11. Spend more time with people who appreciate and love me, and less time with those who don’t.
  12. Dance in the rain, dance on the beach, dance in the kitchen, dance when no one is watching, dance when everyone is watching!
  13. Be grateful for three things every day
  14. Watch more sunsets and sunrises
  15. Be more assertive: I was born and raised a people pleaser, so this is work-in-progress. Watch this video to see how I recently made a significant breakthrough: https://youtu.be/O0wIyiMU5bA

 

FitnessOne of the things I wanted to on my birthday was teach a Zumba Fitness class & share my passion for healthy living with others!  The miles of smiles made it all worthwhile!

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As my friend Alvie Shepherd says, “yes you can!” And yes I did – do a headstand on a paddle board with my friend April looking on in disbelief!
Yes I can!
And…

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Yes YOU can do whatever you set your mind to do. There are many examples of people overcoming obstacles, so why not you? Why can’t I do a headstand on a paddleboard at 55 years of age?
What is it that you’ve always wanted to do but hesitated?

 

Got to celebrate my birthday early with my hubby!

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Had a GNO (Girl’s Night Out) with some friends at a fabulous french restaurant on my birthday!

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My friend April got me this amazing, heartfelt bracelet engraved with the Bible verse Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

She read my blog about a child I lost, but I always knew would have been named Coco.

Read my blog here: www.ShemaneNugent.Rocks/coco
On the inside of the bracelet, April engraved “Happy Birthday Mom, Love Coco”
I was instantly choked up, and fighting back the tears. Thank you April for such a thoughtful gift!

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I received so many amazing gifts!

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Thanks for checking out my weekly recap! I’d love to hear from you! Let me know if you like the updates and what you’d like to see more or less of.

weekly updates
Emotional Wellbeing, Finding Strength, Fitness, Happiness, Inspiration, Weekly Update, Wellness

Blog & Weekly Update July 3, 2017

I’m so glad you’re here! Thanks for taking a few minutes to check out some fun & enlightening videos and posts from last week!

Educational In a couple weeks I’ll be turning 55! Rather than feeling disappointed by the numbers, I’m proud that I’ve been able to overcome significant physical and emotional obstacles in my life and, most importantly, feel better than ever! Unlike women (and men) who are hesitant to disclose their age, I don’t mind. In fact, I feel like I’m in my prime. I’ve learned how to be more assertive and speak my truth without being hurtful. When my husband asks me where I want to go for dinner, I say the exact name of the restaurant, rather than, “I don’t care,” and then sulk because he couldn’t read my mind.

You may find it difficult to believe, but I struggled with self-confidence most of my life. Especially as the wife of a rock star, it was always easier to just go along with whatever Ted wanted. Ultimately, I wound up feeling angry until I learned to voice my opinion. You might say I’m a late bloomer since it’s taken me 54 years to figure out how to do that, but I’m getting stronger and wiser every day!

The trials and tribulations we endure not only fortify us, but these setbacks help us acknowledge the people, places and things with which we want to be surrounded. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier to be (almost) 55! And, I’ll admit, this past year has brought some challenges, but also some amazing changes in my life since I found Isagenix! I feel like it’s the fountain of youth!!

Check out this educational article about staying fit and healthy as you age: http://www.isagenixhealth.net/stay-fit-prime/

And what’s the deal with coconut oil? Is it good or bad for you? Here’s an interesting article by Chalene Johnson: http://www.chalenejohnson.com/nutrition/the-coconut-oil-debate-why-you-should-continue-to-use-coconut-oil/

The weight loss and fitness secret you haven’t heard before! Hint: Be selfish! Here’s a video you may have missed from my Motivational Monday segments with Julie Hays:

 

It was so exciting to visit the Isagenix World Headquarters in Phoenix, AZ last week with my friend and business partner April O’Leary!

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Some of the Isagenix executives even came to Ted’s concert! Here we are backstage:

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This is absolutely adorable! Watch how a stray dog walks on stage during a live symphony performance! I’ll bet s/he found a new home after this! http://boingboing.net/2017/06/30/stray-dog-joins-orchestra-on-s.html

If you’ve never heard my podcasts before, check out my favorite interview with Dr. Kapil Gupta about becoming MindLESS, not mindFUL. It changed my life. http://thisrockinlife.libsyn.com/rss

Weekly Update

Blog & Weekly Update June 26, 2017

Weekly Updates

I hope you’re doing well! Here are a few educational and enlightening videos and posts from last week that are fun, educational, and make you want to eat cake!

Educational Tidbits:

LearningMore than 220,000 people watched my Facebook Live video about Women & Self-Defense, so I put it on Youtube. These simple tips could save your life!

Social Snaps:

Social SnapsMotivation Monday! How can you have your cake and eat it too, without gaining weight?  I watch what I eat, but I love to eat & I don’t deny myself an occasional treat! Here’s my secret:

And here’s a Facebook Live on Finding Joy:

Fun and Family: Kids and Dogs

Sadie & Butterflies!Cuteness Alert

Sadie & Butterflies!

Health & Fitness

Health & FitnessIf you haven’t tried Hot Yoga I highly recommend it.  This was the temperature at the END of class, after the room cooled off.
temperature at the END of class

Wise Words To Live By:

Motivational QuoteWork Hard

Thanks for checking out my weekly recap!  I’d love to hear from you! Let me know if you like the updates and what you’d like to see more or less of. You can find me at:

Website   |   Isagenix   |   Facebook   |   Twitter   |   Instagram

As always, if you don’t like the emails, please feel free to unsubscribe.  As someone once told me, I want to go where I’m celebrated not tolerated.

family, Uncategorized

Not Just a Father – A Dad

It’s easy to be a father, but being a dad is about men who are present in their children’s lives. I remember looking into the stands and seeing my dad at my gymnastics meets, track meets, basketball games, volleyball games, motorcross races and swim meets. In fact, he even attended many of my practices too. It meant so much to this little girl to know that her dad was just beyond the locker room door, waiting to take me home. Once in a while he’d allow me to have a special treat after grueling two-hour practices: an ice cream sandwich!

When I wanted to end my competitive swimming career, my dad encouraged me to continue one more year. He could see something in me that I couldn’t: potential. I stuck with it and the following year became a state champion swimmer!

No matter what activity I was interested in, he was there to show me love and support. He even built a balance beam in our backyard so I could practice gymnastics! Sadly, my dream of becoming an Olympian fizzled.

Instead, I was in the marching band, became a cheerleader, and of course, I wanted to follow in the footsteps of my big brother, Guy, who was a champion motocross racer. It was pouring rain during one of the races and the track was a sloppy mess. I took a spill around a corner and struggled to get my motorcycle out of the mud and upright again. My dad was there to help!

Thank-you Dad, for always being there for me and showing me how to be a parent. Your constant presence in my life, through good times and bad, has given me the confidence to try new things and challenge myself to be the best I can be. Because of you, I strived to be at all my son’s childhood activities. Anytime I questioned whether or not driving five hours to watch Rocco’s basketball games or swim meets, I remember the feeling I had when I knew you were there sitting in the stands. And on a few occasions, I took Rocco to get an ice cream sandwich, too.

Emotional Wellbeing, family, Mindset, Relationships

Words Matter

An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us,” said Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan after an American citizen woke up one morning and decided he wanted to shoot Republican congressmen because of their conservative beliefs. It’s bad enough that we have to go to war to fight Isis and people who hate the fact that we are free to say and do (within reason) what we want, whenever we want.

Words Matter Ted & ShemaneWe all say things we regret. I know I do, and my husband has been a perpetrator of verbiage that was hateful and toxic. For years, I warned him that his scathing rhetoric would get him in trouble. It did. He was investigated by the Secret Service for saying terribly unkind things about our former president, although what he said was clearly misunderstood. He’s passionate. But the passion, I warned, could be more effective without the childish name-calling. He finally agreed, and he explains everything in an apology on Facebook.

The First Amendment does not and should not ever include violence. As Americans, we have always set an example for the rest of the world. We should watch our tone, however, and not demonize each other through bombastic verbiage. This week’s tragedy caused my husband to alter his stance and he credited me as his reason for the drastic change. My persistence paid off.

During a time when the nation is turmoil fighting over basic beliefs and principles like health care, abortion and jobs, we had an opportunity to bring the two opposing sides together in a simple charity baseball game. Republican congressmen against the Democrats. It was a time where oppositional views were put aside so that regardless of who you route for, everyone would win.

As a Zumba fitness instructor, I see all walks of humanity in my classes; men, women and children of all races, faiths and political views. I am a conservative, Christian woman, but when Barack Obama was first elected, I remember seeing a few t-shirts with ‘Obama’ written boldly across the front of them, on people in my classes, but it never mattered. I welcome each and every person into my class.

There is a time to argue and a time to dance.

The Congressional baseball game raised millions of dollars for charitable causes. Liberals and Conservatives came together and cheered each other. The winning Democrats even handed over their trophy to the Republicans for Rep. Steve Scalise until he recovers. And for a split second, Nancy Pelosi actually agreed with Speaker Paul Ryan. Now that’s progress.

I’m not a celebrity like my husband is, but even I’ve been misquoted in an interview. One newspaper reporter printed that I said, “I hated writing my book”. What I really said was, “I loved writing the book”. With so many online bloggers and so-called journalists, the facts can be distorted. Wikipedia actually printed that I had two children, and I would know, I only gave birth to one. We need to be careful not to believe everything we read and hear.

An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us,” Paul Ryan

 
Let’s come together as Americans regardless of the color of our skin or our political beliefs. We all bleed red. Wouldn’t it be nice to see less mud-slinging in political debates and elections, and in our news? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just dance?

Weekly Update

Weekly Recap

Weekly Recap

Hi there!

I thought you might be interested in update of some things I’ve been doing recently and other social media I’ve discovered that have made me laugh, cry, or are educational.  To help save you time, I’ll wrap it up in a super cute package delivered to your in box each week (mostly.  I might skip a week here & there)

Making Fitness Fun: Teaching Zumba Fitness

Social SnapsIt was so much fun to teach a Zumba fitness (& I do mean fitness!!) class this week at the Naples Family Fitness Center.  Instructors teach differently.  As the developer of Zumba in the Circuit, I am naturally inclined to infuse a lot of fitness into my dance routines. My goal is to make sure my students have a great workout. Also, I realized that some people feel they are uncoordinated and actually fearful of walking into a dance/fitness class.  By adding squats and lunges periodically, I know my students will be getting a good workout – which is mainly why they want to attend!  It’s also FUN!!  My goal is to make you sweat and smile!

Click on this link for a highlight video
Naples Family Fitness

Educational Tidbits: It’s Time for Ticks!

LearningIt’s Tick Time!  Check out the Facebook Live video I did about Lyme disease. Many times this goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Recognize the symptoms before it’s too late!

Click Here To Watch The Video

Ted was recently bit by a tick and he had some terrible flu-like symptoms. Fortunately we caught it in time. Learn what to do if you get bit.

Ted’s Story
Lyme Epidemic Clock is Tick-Tick-Ticking

Healthy Living: Looks Good, Tastes Better!

Food

A delicious snack or meal can be the easiest! I love this Caprese Salad with avocado!

Fun and Family: Kids and Dogs

My grandson Finn celebrated his 5th birthday! Isn’t he adorable?Cuteness Alert

Finn

My dog Sadie just LOVES to carry things around. This log was almost as big as her!

My dog Sadie

Motivational Quote

Motivational QuoteYou can’t always please everyone so you may as well please yourself!

You can’t always please everyone so you may as well please yourself!

I’d be honored if you shared this recap with at least one person today. http://aweber.com/t/9h0rc

I’d love to hear from you! Let me know if you like the updates and what you’d like to see more or less of.

As always, if you don’t like the emails, please feel free to unsubscribe. As someone once told me, I want to go where I’m celebrated not tolerated.

Emotional Wellbeing, family, Inspiration, Mindset, Success

Charity: Pass It On

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.Charles Dickens
Charity pass it on

Ribbon-cutting ceremony at Brooke Army Medical Center

 

We’ve all experienced dark nights of the soul, times when we endure spiritual crises that bring us to our knees. We lose hope, hit the bottom of the depression pit, and perhaps even consider suicide. Let’s be real. Maybe you wouldn’t do it, but have you thought about it?

Taking the focus off myself and putting it on others has always lifted me from the deepest, darkest depths of despair. In 2004, Ted, Rocco, and I visited veterans at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. That day was one I can still see and feel in my mind.

The three of us went from room to room, floor to floor, visiting severely injured soldiers. The sights were gruesome—much worse than any Hollywood movie could depict. Ted played his guitar and entertained some of the troops in a rehab room. A young man who had suffered serious burns all over his body was strapped onto a bed; his arms and legs were extended. Emblazoned in my memory are the moaning sounds he made while his limbs were stretched so new skin would have a chance to grow.

As we ascended to higher floors, the wounds on these hero warriors seemed to get worse. The cheery demeanor of a beautiful, dark-haired woman overpowered the fact that half of her face had been maimed. She smiled wide and bright as she talked about recovering quickly so she could rejoin her fellow soldiers.

Nineteen year-old Corporal John Chrzanowski had been brought in the night before we arrived. Wrapped from head to toe like a mummy, John had been burned all over his body. To minimize the chance for infection, John’s visitors were kept to a minimum. Ted scrubbed up, put on a face mask and gown, and headed in to give John a pep talk. Rocco and I stood outside the room with John’s mother, Nancy. I had no idea what to say to her. How could any words bring her comfort? I asked if there was anything she needed, anything I could do for her. With all the confidence in the world that her son would someday make a full recovery, Nancy Chrzanowski lifted her chin and said defiantly that her son was an outdoorsman and she couldn’t imagine him recovering without being able to get outside. At the time, there was no patio at BAMC to shelter burned and wounded veterans from direct sunlight.

I was slightly stunned, but I leaped into the conversation as if something else had taken over my words. I had zero experience with fundraising and had no idea how I would do it, but I told Nancy I’d raise the money to build a patio at the center so her son and so many others could get outside into fresh air but stay out of the sun. With the help of my husband, Ted, Texas governor Rick Perry, and so many others, a beautiful pavilion was created at Brooke Army Medical Center and has provided relief to hundreds of deserving and honored American military veterans. That experience prompted me to start Freedom’s Angels to help wounded soldiers and their families. Most recently, we raised money to provide a much needed track chair to a veteran who had lost his legs. Now, he can go to the beach with his family and not worry about the complications of walking with prosthetic legs in the sand. Ted and I are also on the board of directors for Operation Finally Home, which provides mortgage free homes to veterans and their families – something they should have anyway. We also help raise money and awareness for many military charities like K9s for Warriors, which places shelter dogs with veterans suffering from post traumatic stress. We’ve hosted too many children with terminal illnesses for me to count. Or want to. Meeting innocent children stricken by a death warrant is heartbreaking. It’s so unfair to them and their families. It puts everything in perspective, doesn’t it? How dare I complain of having a bad hair day or gaining a few pounds? Those children would love to have my problems. So whenever I have my pity days, I think about people who struggle with much more daunting tribulations, and I get involved.

You don’t have to write a check to make a difference. One Thanksgiving, Ted, Rocco, and I went to a soup kitchen and served the homeless. Lend a helping hand to others and you’ll be more appreciative of what you have.

What can you do to help someone today? This week? This month? How about this year?

——————————————-
This is an excerpt from Shemane’s book, “4 Minutes a Day, Rock ‘n Roll Your Way to HAPPY

family, Finding Strength, Fitness, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, Meditation, Mindset, Relationships, Spiritual, Wisdom

Mother’s Day Lessons


There are many lessons to learn from our own mothers and from other mothers, too. Most importantly, we discover the kind of mother we’d like to be if we were blessed to have children of our own. In my 54 years on this planet, I’ve seen a variety of parenting styles, and even, sadly, lack of parenting. It only makes me appreciate the incredible sacrifices made by my mother, and the lessons I learned from being a mother.

I’m blown away by working women who raise two, three, even more children without a staff and without losing their patience. Certainly, there are times that we all lose our composure. When my son was just a baby and we were on a plane trip, he was cranky and it’s no wonder. It’s not natural for babies to be in confined areas, have their ears pop from the air pressure change and want to be in their comfy cribs rather than surrounded by strangers. My child had to be changed so I created a make-shift diaper station on the floor in the aisle of the 757 jet. During that, um, procedure, my infant decided that was the time to urinate. Let’s just say the people nearby weren’t all that elated. We all try to do the best we can. There’s no foolproof handbook for mothers. Ask four moms how to potty train and you’ll most likely get four different answers.

Many mothers desperately try to shield their children from disappointments and injustices, from hurt feelings and scraped knees. When Rocco was seven years old, I enrolled him in the YMCA swimming program. In my youth, I had been a state champion swimmer and wanted to make sure I passed down that trait. I gave my son a few extra tips and put him in the hands of a competent and successful coach. After a few months of practice, we entered Rocco in a Novice swim meet. It was an opportunity for children who had never swam competitively to learn about the rules and procedures of a swim meet. It was exciting for me as a mother, to watch my son go through the anticipation and excitement leading up to the race. When the kids were called to get on their starting blocks, my stomach did a flip-turn and my heart thumped thunderously in my chest, as if I was the one to swim for the first time. An official called the children to attention with a loud and deafening command that I had heard many times before, “Swimmers, take your mark…” and then came the powerful sound of the starter gun blasting.

The stands were filled with anxious parents and grandparents hoping their kids would be the one to come home with a first place trophy, but there could only be one. Rocco’s reflexes were quick and he attacked the water with the skill and command of an older, more experienced athlete. The joy and elation I felt watching my son follow in my footsteps – or strokes – was both exhilarating and tense.

Was he swimming too fast to keep that pace for two laps?

So many things raced through my mind…

Maybe he should have had eggs instead of cereal for breakfast.

Wow! He could actually win!

Rocco’s drive and determination during his months of practice paid off, big time! Before a couple of kids even made it to the end of the first lap, Rocco finished the second lap and won! To see the smile and joy on his face was priceless. It was an achievement that could give him the confidence to continue swimming, and set him up to succeed in other areas of his life.

The elation, however, was short-lived.

After the race was over, Rocco’s coach and other swimmers congratulated him on his first place win, but when we went to pick up his trophy, we were severely disappointed. Although there was no denying that Rocco finished first, he was not given the first place trophy or any trophy. The reason we were given was quite unfair and unjust.

“Rocco swam too fast and it wasn’t fair to the other children,” said the official in charge.

Instead of coming home with a trophy and the confidence that his hard work paid off, Rocco was given a stack of comic books. Seriously.

Part of me wanted to scream and yell about the injustice of it all (ok, truthfully, I did a little). Here was a child who followed the rules, he had never swam competitively, but just happened to be better than the others. Apparently being too good was unfair to the kid who came in last.

Life isn’t fair…

…is one of the many things I learned from my mother. She taught me how to be kind and compassionate, to give to others when they are in need. I remember visiting my grandfather who had Parkinson’s disease. My mother would take off his shoes and rub his feet. She was and is always available to help a friend move or to plant flowers for someone or to be a cheerleader in the stands at my swim meets. She taught me how to be a mother, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mother and all the moms who give so freely of their time to their children and who constantly remind us of what it means to love unconditionally.

Check out Shemane’s podcast “This Rockin’ Life” available on iTunes http://shemanenugent.rocks/podcast/

Happiness, Inspiration, Success, Wisdom

Dinner with the President

Ted Nugent, President Donald Trump, Shemane Nugent. Official White House Photo By Shealah Craighead

President Trump walked into the Oval Office and we all held our breath. It’s not every day that you get to spend the evening with the president of the United States. With the Secret Service flanking him, our Commander-In-Chief showed off his dazzling smile and did something none of us expected.

He picked up a guitar and started strumming.

The president of rock ‘n roll presents a guitar to the President of the United States. Official White House Photo By Shealah Craighead

My husband, Ted Nugent, and I, were invited by Governor Sarah Palin, along with Kid Rock, his fiancé Audrey, and several of Governor Palin’s friends, including daughter Willow, to have dinner with President Trump.

Official White House Photo By Shealah Craighead

It was truly a monumental moment. President Trump was beyond gracious, giving us a detailed tour of White House grounds, the Oval Office, and even the Lincoln bedroom.

personal tour by President Trump. Photo courtesy Governor Sarah Palin

The dinner was spectacular with lobster salad, lamb, roasted vegetables and Baked Alaska, in honor of Alaska’s former governor Sarah Palin.  President Trump even signed Ted’s menu to auction and raise money for the Boys & Girls Club of Waco tonight!

President Trump told us he was grateful for what people like Sarah and Ted did for him when he was campaigning and simply wanted to show his appreciation by inviting Sarah and her friends.

 

 

The conversation was intense and lively, but when my husband started tapping the plate with his fork like he does at home when he really, really likes the food, I gave him one of those don’t you dare looks, and he quickly stopped.

We capped off the night with a tour of the Press Room by Sean Spicer.

 

We topped it off with a nightcap at the Hotel George, in Georgetown.

#crew

 

Coco
Emotional Wellbeing, family, Finding Strength, Happiness

Coco

She would have been 22 years old, but I never mourned her until now. Life gets in the way, you know? I’ve been busy raising my son Rocco, who is now 26, and helped to raise two of my stepchildren, Sasha and Toby, although they were nearly adults when I married their father. Five other step-children came into my life, Fleetwood, Starr, Louisa, Heather and Chantal but we only visit once or twice a year. This morning when I Googled “how to do music.ly” a social media site that marries lip sync and dance, I found a tutorial of a young girl teaching her mother. And I cried. Through the awkwardness and the banter, it is obvious the mother and daughter are very close. Thirty seconds into the eight minute video, the mom cannot contain her pride and hugs the young girl, while her daughter pushes away, smiling. The mother says “I love her. I love her so much! This is my only chance to get to hug her…” Although likely embarrassed, as any teenager teaching a parent how to lip-sync to a rap video would be, it is clear they have fun together. They giggle, and playfully tease each other as the mom tries to learn this new technology and be “hip”. I know…., my son will be embarrassed I used that archaic word.

It was then that suddenly, after more than two decades, I realized I missed her and I never even knew her. I missed having a close sibling for Rocco, and another child of my own. I would have named her Coco, because, yes, I like Chanel, but also because it rhymes with Rocco. I wonder what they would have been like as brother and sister. I wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter I could tease and learn from, and hug. Would she be embarrassed by my selfies, clothing choices and attempts to lip sync and dance? What would she teach me, I wondered.

On those crazy-long information sheets required to fill out at the doctor’s, I have to acknowledge that I have been pregnant twice, but only delivered one child. I have to check the box for ectopic, or tubal pregnancy. It never, ever bothered me until now.

Like many women who’ve had miscarriages, I felt all the symptoms of pregnancy for weeks. It’s hard to deny the hormonal changes that occur in the body; breast tenderness, fatigue, and a sudden aversion to certain foods. I’d endured it all before when I was pregnant with my son. The most important symptom was, of course, my intuition. I knew that there was a tiny human growing inside me. And I knew it was a girl.

On a ski trip with my father, son and husband, Ted, I woke up one morning with incredible pain in my abdomen. I immediately wondered if I had food poisoning. An hour after the initial cramping started, I was bent over in pain. I knocked on my dad’s hotel room door and told him I wasn’t feeling well. My husband was going to drive my son and I home. We had a couple of good ski days already. Maybe I was over-doing it and needed some rest.

It was only thirty minutes into the four-hour drive home that I realized the pain was becoming extraordinarily severe. In fact, I thought I was going to die.

We found a nearby hospital and I was admitted immediately. “I’m pregnant,” I said through sobs. At that moment, I started to realize what was at stake: a life. Maybe two. Hundreds of women still die during pregnancy-related deaths every year in the United States.

The ER doctor said surgery was imminent and urgent and that I would lose one of my fallopian tubes and the fetus, the baby. The human. The soul. While I was being wheeled into the operating room, as if in a movie, Ted and Rocco told me they loved me and they’d be waiting for me.

Was this really happening? The pain subverted my attention from the fact that I would no longer be pregnant. What does that mean? Where does she go? Perhaps I’d never be able to have another child. Maybe I will die.

After the surgery, I woke up in the maternity ward. Couldn’t they find another place for me? I heard women screaming during childbirth, and then..babies crying… The pain prevented me from thinking about it too much.

The phone in my room rang. Although I was still groggy from the procedure, I struggled to answer it. “Is Ted there?” A woman asked. She said she heard that Ted Nugent’s wife was in surgery there and that she was a big fan. I hung up. Seriously?

And then it was over. Life got in the way.

I returned home and went through the motions of raising Rocco, going to Toby’s basketball games and Sasha’s volleyball games, and being my husband’s wife. Years passed and I continued to write the number “2” in the doctor forms inquiring about how many pregnancies I’d had.

I never sulked. I never cried about the life that was lost.

Until now.

Now, I wonder what kind of video tutorials I would have done with Coco. What career path she would have taken.

I miss her.

And I never had a chance to hug her.